Seitensprung-Irrtümer

Der Seitensprung und der Irrtum, den Seitensprung-Agenturen verbreiten

Irrtum: „Ein Seitensprung ist kein Beinbruch“
Ein Seitensprung kann den totalen Bruch einer Beziehung bedeuten. Als Mittel zur Belebung einer Beziehung ist er ungeeignet. Aber nach einer Außenbeziehung gibt es dennoch Wege, wieder zueinanderzufinden. Sich plötzlich zu verlieben, das kann jedem und jeder jederzeit passieren. Hier kann es hilfreich sein, sich auf die Anfänge der eigenen Beziehung zu besinnen und statt einer Affaire in der eigenen Beziehung neues Leben zu suchen.

Irrtum: „Vertrauen ist altmodisch“
Wenn das Vertrauen in den Partner wirklich altmodisch wäre, dann müßten Einsamkeit, Gewissensbisse, Mißtrauen und Zweifel modern sein. Eine abenteuerlich dumme Vorstellung.

Irrtum: „Ein Seitensprung stärkt das Selbstbewußtsein“
Das eigene Selbstbewußtsein kann durch einen Seitensprung schwer ramponiert werden, wenn man einsehen muß, daß man sich von einer anderen Person nur das eigene Tollsein bestätigen lassen mußte.

Irrtum: „Ich hab’ mich halt verliebt“
Vor allem Selbstverliebtheit kann einen beim Ausscheren aus einer Beziehung zu der Annahme verleiten, man habe sich in einen anderen verliebt. Besonders dann, wenn es in der Beziehung Kinder gibt. Attraktiv finden kann man, wen man will. Ab da hat man die Entscheidung, ob man dem Stammhirn Vorfahrt läßt, das u.a. die Fortpflanzungsimpulse steuert – oder ob man seine aus der Hirnforschung bekannten „exekutiven Frontalhirnfunktionen“ nutzt, die beim Planen, Bedenken, bei der Impulskontrolle und der Selbststeuerung wertvolle Dienste leisten (können). Siehe auch die Seite zu „Liebe“ (es öffnet sich ein neues Browser-Fenster).

Irrtum: „Ein Seitensprung kann neues Leben in die Beziehung bringen“
Tatsächlich kann bei einem Seitensprung eine Schwangerschaft entstehen. Doch nicht nur eine Schwangerschaft, die sich durch das Fremdgehen ergibt, kann Leben in eine bestehende Beziehung bringen. Das finanzierte Haus kann auf dem Spiel stehen, der Friede für den Rest des Lebens. Und dennoch ist es bei allem wichtig, falls „es“ passiert ist, ruhig zu bleiben und alles zu versuchen, wieder zusammenzukommen. Je weniger Gewicht der Außenbeziehung gegeben wird, desto mehr Leichtigkeit kann wieder ins eigene Leben kommen.

Irrtum: „Er / sie ist so anders, so verständnisvoll“
Er / sie ist vor sich selbst wahrscheinlich genauso arm dran wie sie / er, die / der aus einer Beziehung ausbrechen und Trost suchen will. Wahren Trost erkennt man daran, daß er immer Hemd und Hose anbehält: der Trost.

Irrtum: „Unsere Liebe ist eben vorbei“
Wenn die sogenannten Schmetterlinge im Bauch nicht mehr tanzen, ist dies ein sicheres Anzeichen dafür, daß eine Beziehung in die Reifephase eintritt, daß es Zeit ist, gemeinsam etwas für die Beziehung zu unternehmen.

Richtig: Mt 25,31-46 „Denn ich war hungrig, und ihr habt mir zu essen gegeben …“

statt-seitensprung.de - dankbar? Jetzt fuer Obdachlose in Frankfurt spenden. Franziskustreff Frankfurt

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